Friday, 17 April 2009

On buying gold

I heard on Radio 4 the other evening, about 3 scam artists who got the title deeds of several mortgage free houses from land registry signed over to their names. Promptly remortgaged them to the tune of a million, jumped in a taxi down to London from Manchester and bought gold with it. They then got the waiting taxi back to Manchester and are now languishing at her Majesty’s pleasure for 4 years, probably less, but the gold hasn’t been found.

Bad Matty (see Job Well Done), told me he does a lot of dealings with South Africa, whom one should never take any form of payment other than cash from. All others are usually forged, they even, he says, usually throw a couple of forged ten pound notes into the fray when paying by cash, so he has a by weight counting machine, that spits them back out. They always have the right cash somewhere on them, and apologise and give it up. He said he had about a million in cash that they didn’t know what to do with and had converted to gold, hmmmmm, he doen’t have a Manchunian accent though?

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‘They tuck you up your mum and dad...’
Anon - after Larkin

“Philately will get you everywhere”

“It’s not the despair, I can handle the despair. 
It’s the hope I can’t deal with”

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Anais Nin

‘Come on Dover move your bloomin’ arse’.
Eliza Doolittle