Broken Collarbone or Clavicle in child

I’m sad, and I’ve broken Erbie.

I have been rushing around like idiot, trying to fit in one last this and one last that before leaving W1. One of last time excursions on my agenda was taking Erbie to Corams Field (on what happened to be an event and therefore very busy day) to play in the sandpit and have a swing. I’d just managed to change him out of wet, sandy clothes and we were on our way to the swings when he ran ahead, towards them completely overexcited. I grabbed at the sandy items and ran after him shouting ‘Stop! Stop!’, which he always has done previously, only this time he didn’t and the father pushing his child on one of the swings didn’t see him. The swing hit Erbie full on and knocked him flying.

I comforted him and he cried a bit longer than is usual but seemed okay, we had a swing and left. He seemed very quiet on the way back and when we got home I sat him in front of the telly and studied him, I noticed his eyes flutter and he shivered. Worried that he may have a head injury I whisked him up, out and into a taxi to Accident & Emergency. The taxi driver didn’t even switch his meter on, bless him. A and E at the UCH on Euston Road is the same as any A and E the length and breadth of this country, ie a couple of bleeding drunks and a full waiting room. A paedriatrician spotted Erbie on the monitor whilst I was signing in and ushered us straight through to the childrens ward. 

Erbie kept touching his shoulder and lay his head against me in silence. He had gone very pale. They checked his head for bumps and were very worried by the size of one until I mentioned it was always there, as my family are predisposed to corners on our craniums. I got asked routine head injury questions, like: ‘Was he knocked out or did he cry right after? Has he vomited?’ He was still very pale and hadn’t eaten anything and as he kept touching his shoulder they suggested an Xray to be sure nothing was wrong.

The Xray was the hardest part, I had to put on a large green insulated apron so that I could help hold him down on the bed. He didn’t like that. We had to lay him on his back, he didn’t like that. A male nurse had to hold down his legs, he didn’t like him. He cried out over and over: ‘No, no, don’t like it, don’t like it.’ He went red in the face and squirmed with all his might. They managed to get one Xray image and didn’t try for the obligatory second one. When I eventually scooped him up his bottom lip quivered and he said: ‘Bye, bye, bye, bye over and over until we had left the Xray room.

After about 5 minutes they came to me and said what Erbie had been trying to tell us all along, he had cracked his clavicle. I saw his Xray showing a fine white line running through his right collarbone. I felt sick, I’d just picked him up using his arms - twice, no wonder he had winced. The reason his little eyes had fluttered and he had been so pale was due to the pain he was encountering. 

They gave me a bag of painkillers for him and we tried to get him in a sling which caused him to wave his arm around more than not wearing one. I’ve since bought some arnica cream and pilules to help the healing process and the bruise come out. I have to watch him like a hawk and try to stop him using his right arm, luckily he is left handed. 

It happened 6 days ago and I haven’t been able to write about it until now. He is much better but still needs help getting up from laying down.

I feel like a very bad mother.