Thursday, 7 January 2010

Sex text?

Yes, the question mark is deliberate, I really had no idea what to write. 

The grandfather has decamped to the seaside for the week and will probably get snowed in, so the coast is clear. 

I managed to get away long enough to drop into Bravissimo and get measured and actually purchased a new bra in RED!

Image: Bravissimo : Tango plunge bra by Panache

No, that’s not me, if it were, I’d be having sex! 

So back to the sex text, what the f*** does one write... I ended up sending: 
“I want to taste your plums” to The GR whilst he was in the shower, he was impressed to have received any correspondence at this time of year, (he’s moping around at home without work) but less so when he saw it was from me. He burst out laughing, not the desired effect but I laughed too which broke the ice between us, always a good starter. Sadly he followed this with: ‘Sorry love I just knocked one out in the shower.’ 

I've just knocked out this post this evening whilst he’s popped to Tesco to get me chocolate because yep - its that time of the month again.

So I have a week before I try again any suggestions for sex texts gratefully received! 


Chic Mama said...

sorry no idea, I wouldn't have a clue. Fingers crossed for you. x

everybodysaysdont said...

Nice bra! I haven't a clue either, but I think it's good that you have already sent a text, so he will have got the gist.
I once texted a "sexy" photo of me, to my other half, and he couldn't work out what it was!! (This was also back in the day when camera phones weren't as good!) xxxxxx
Good Luck! Keep trying! xxx

Anonymous said...

Hmm I'm no expert at this sort of thing but I've always found...I had a dream about you last night. And god were you good.. works pretty well, without having to get too explicit which does tend as you've seen to lead to laughter and cringing.
Good luck

Looking Fab in your forties said...

I am hysterical at the "I just knocked one out in the shower" - classic!
How about your next one saying something like "Your lady in Red awaits" and as he comes in the bedroom you can be laying there in the red undie set, oh and perhaps you could get some red hold up stockings as well!

That's Not My Age said...

Oh I wouldn't know where to start with a sex text, but what about trying the underwear as outerwear trend to grab his attention?

Lewis William said...

That is amazing! Can such things be copyrighted? I can definitely see it happening in the next Richard Curtis.

If I could suggest anything, it would be to send something to make him think of you, rather than his body.


Mothership said...

How about "Come knock on my door if you want to get wet" (snort, choke, gasp)
I have never even THOUGHT of sexting so think you're ahead of me here. Pretty sure appearing in the bra before he reaches the shower should send the message. Have fun!

Single Supplement said...

sex texts are dangerous.. when you send them you are feeling all naughty and they seem dangerous and slutty and GOOD. If you read them the next day or if the person you send them too doesn't check his texts often and reads them in a meeting or something, they come across as just awful. Cheese and embarrassing. There is a fine line. I think don't mention sex and don't be funny. Be suggestive and subtle. The imagination is far hotter!

westendmum said...

Thanks, I need everything uncrossed though!

hmmm sexy picture, might try that one, it's been so long he probably wont know what it is either.

I had a dream yes that works for me too.

@Fab in you forties
Yes, he does have a way with words. Trust you to involve shopping, wear would one get red hold ups then madam?

@Thats not my age - either
Like it.

@Lewis Williams
Ha, yes it'd be called something like 'Gloves Actually'.

You've doen this before...

@Single Supplement
And you've definitely done this before - give me one of yours!

Other nonsense

Quote of the day

‘They tuck you up your mum and dad...’
Anon - after Larkin

“Philately will get you everywhere”

“It’s not the despair, I can handle the despair. 
It’s the hope I can’t deal with”

“Each new friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
Anais Nin

‘Come on Dover move your bloomin’ arse’.
Eliza Doolittle