Saturday, 30 January 2010

Went the Worthing Well?

Worthing

We went to visit The Grandad during the week in his new rental apartment in Worthing, a converted Georgian villa a stones throw from all the necessary amenities, which to us would be shops, station, seafront, to him is hospital, doctors, station, he is worried about getting ill, bless and I guess being newly single at 70 it’s no surprise. The flat is lovely, high ceilings, tasteful decor, outdoor space, fitted kitchen, a bath, all he needs. The poor man had to buy everything, from knives and forks to sofa, bed and TV; having just left his second wife in their matrimonial house in Spain. He seems happy considering, is a little worried being told he has high blood pressure for the first time in his life probably not helped by the fact he is having to mediate between Belle Mere, his ex-wife (mother of The GR) and us. She still refuses to honour her agreement in fact any agreement and seems happy to prolong the separation (we haven’t spoken since August). She has admitted that she realises now she cannot replace us with her other son’s family in Eastern Europe after trying to spend a family Christmas with them. Second grandson doesn’t speak English, nor does he live with The GR's brother, who now needs a translator to speak to his own son. So the chances of said child building a relationship with his English grandmother are slim. The Belle Mere has missed so much of Erbie already. His first steps, his first words, his first picking up a pen and drawing a line, which has now advanced to circles, his first singing, trying to eat with a spoon, growing hair (a little), it’s criminal. The GR is close to cracking, I’m close to cracking but we know if we do nothing will have changed in our relationship with her, she’ll go back to trying to rule our lives.  The Grandad seems to think he’ll be able to make her see the light, he has got her to admit to herself she wants to keep control of the GR. He’s in his 40’s! The phrase if you love someone set them free keeps coming into my mind but the BM would take that the wrong way too.

4 comments:

Metropolitan Mum said...

Your BM sounds absolutely hideous. Why doesn't she see that she is cutting herself off your (as in your family's) life?

teawithonesugarplease said...

Ugh Mother-in-laws! Who needs em eh? But he is GR's only mother. My own never made much effort with kid number 1 (now aged 3) I can count on one hand how many times she came to see her when she was a baby. But since the twins arrival - she keeps wanting to visit - perhaps guilt for not making the effort first time round, who knows? Not that
i am saying have more kids to get BM to make more of an effort. Stick to your guns. You have Granddad which is a bonus

westendmum said...

Grandad is far out shining BM presently. Sadly she had a lovely connection with Erbie, luckily before he was old enough to miss her. It's madness. The Grandad got a terse email from her today saying she didn't have the time to think about it.... He's beginning to see what we mean.

everybodysaysdont said...

ooh family what a nightmare! xxxx

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