Things that give The Guardian Reader (The GR) the creeps

1. ‘Antiques Roadshow’ Can you believe the Antique’s Roadshow is one of the few things we argue about. Thankfully the season has ended for the Summer, Sunday evenings were getting to be a touch fraught. Whatever he’d been up to during the day, he’d always seem to come to an end just as it was about to start. This involved much sighing, scoffing, and saying of: ‘this really gives me the creeps’. I, knowing this was about to happen, would wind myself up and snap something back, like ‘it’s the only thing I watch, for Gods sake, can’t you let me do it in peace’, row ensuing. I’d even taken to serepticiously watching it on mute, with subtitles, while he was on the computer, but it just wasn’t the same not hearing Geoffrey Munn’s nasal delight at revealing a jewels secret love message. I’ve seen Geoffery Munn twice ni the flesh, once on the Southbank, he jogged passed and we made eye contact, oh yes we did. And I’m ashamed to confess, for a second time (BelgianWaffling has already given me penance) to following him and his trolley around John Lewis FoodHall. Oh, don’t worry, I’ve been through the jewellery box, natch.
2. Radio 4
3. candlesticks, florals (other than men’s shirts), teacups, cushions, pinnys (worn over clothes), anything from Kath Kidston really.
7. crochet, knitting, craft in general.
8. homemade stuff in a jar – chutney, chilli jam, (he’s the one missing out on my sisters peach marmalade)
9. homemade bread, cakes, muffins. Although I have to admit he does eat mine. I’ve tasted the Belle Mere’s and there is a certain je ne sais quoi about them that could have quite easily led to his wariness.

In fact I think everything from 2 down could be attributed to his mother. My mother on the other hand was a big softy and spoilt me rotten. We listened to Radio 1 in the kitchen on Sundays, the chartshow with Jimmy Saville where they picked a year like say 1968, I think probably more my choice than hers, but hey you never know. I revised to Steve Wright in the afternoon, and learnt the lyrics to many new songs by taping Annie Nightingale. I even heard Relax by Frankie goes to Hollywood before they banned it. Ooooh Gary Davies, ooooh Gary Davies. Oh dear.