B R E A T H E

Get it off your chest. I think I’m having and anxiety attack. I need to start the headspace meditation up again. A lot has happened since we moved into this flat, none of it good, apart from Erbie of course who is a delight and we are all relatively healthy and have a roof over our heads and food in the cupboards all of which I am thankful for.

The garden flat below us has just sold, we share the freehold, no one was expecting the sale to go through as they thrust a load of consent paperwork at all the freeholders at the 11^th hour – for building work not comparable to the lease; which everyone refused to sign. Now I am extremely nervous that they are going to go ahead with the building work without our consent. I don’t think our marriage will take it, not again. The neighbour’s build nearly destroyed us and it only stopped 5 months ago, we are just starting to get a semblance of normal family life back.

We saw them today, a young couple with a baby, they were in there for an hour with a man with a computer. Building contractor – architect? People don’t like being told they can’t do things but we all share an interest in protecting the joint building not shaping it to our desires. What if they are just like the neighbours and move in a bunch of builders whilst they stay somewhere nice and quiet and think that they are the ones who are being inconvenienced?

I used to be such a positive person, I’d be saying: ‘Oh how lovely a little friend for Erbie’ and ‘How nice it will be to have owners living in the building rather than a buy-to-let as it was before’. But these past years have really knocked it out of me and now I just think of the worst thing that could happen. 

What on earth does one do if someone comes in and decided to do whatever they like in breach of the lease? Who do you call? Are you even able to stop them? Where does one stand legally? Can I live through another battlefield, dread coming home every day, will my colitis come back, will I start looking 103, forget stuff, make silly mistakes, not be able to care for my family properly.

Hell maybe I’ll just go and get some Valium!