First school hell.

The GR is fuming – again and has sent me to bed with Erbie – it’s 8.30pm.

He is nearly always cross with me these days. We no longer sleep in the same bed or make any attempt to. He makes a bed from the sofa cushions upstairs, I sleep in bed with Erbie downstairs. Erbie is 3. He’s must be feeling unloved and I’m just plain lonely. We can’t talk to one another nowadays without rubbing the wrong way. He goes off and phones his dad and they discuss stuff, I wonder if he is quietly sabotaging me. I’m probably paranoid.

I printed out a voucher for the cinema today along with the entrance tables for the local schools. I’m worried because even though we live on the doorstep of 3 very good primary schools all of them are oversubscribed, the one we would like Erbie to go to had 550 applicants for 60 places last year. The other 2 are equally oversubscribed. The last child to be accepted lived less than 0.2 miles from the school.

Apparently this is the first year the schools will be allocated from the local council’s central office and it all hangs on ones proximity to the school, befriending the head teacher won’t help but with all our local schools so oversubscribed I fear for Erbie’s future education. The GR is from this area and his experience of school from primary through to finish was appalling. Let Erbie be lucky.

I mentioned it to The GR and managed to send him into a spiral of self-loathing, which got directed at me. “I deliberately tell him bad stuff without any solution. I always pick the wrong time to tell him things, I never say thank-you, I always make him lose his temper in front of Erbie, what more do I want from him…” culmunating with him telling me to start looking for somewhere else to live.