Wednesday, 28 July 2010

We did it!

We bought our flat from Belle Mere and moved in. We spent 12 years doing it up and then we bought it! It’s marvelous. I was worried I wouldn’t like being out of the West End and refused to say goodbye to anyone but now we are here and unpacked it’s good. I planted up a window box with old bits of found compost and some lettuce seeds and was amazed to see seedlings emerge, most of which now appear to be from dormant grass seed but some daily weeding in a micro-gardening way is proving to be quite therapeutic.

Belle Mere had two parting shots across the bows and has now gone eerily quiet. We have been here 2 weeks. I was angry to the point of daily inner conversations at the time but thankfully that has passed. Time is a great healer and all that. The first of the final blows was our solicitor ringing up on the eve of completion saying Belle Mere had just cancelled the buildings insurance on the flat and would he be wrong in asking if she was a difficlut woman?

“You’re asking if my MOTHER-IN-LAW is a difficult woman?’’ I replied.

We had to chase around trying to find insurance at the last minute, no one wanted to insure just part of a building, it being a flat without the consent and signatures of all other owners. Eventually we went to our lenders who had a vested interest in insuring the building and did so whilst the completion was on hold. Panic over. We completed. Belle Mere rang and told me she was leaving Erbie’s toy cars in the flat, and how worried she had been about us finding insurance…

On the day of moving in, I went on ahead to retrieve the keys and check that nothing bad was waiting in store for us. The keys were where they were supposed to be with a scrawled note saying a friend had a spare set and she would get them at the weekend, these still haven’t materialised.

I went upstairs to see if anything was not as it should be but all was well. Breathing a sigh of relief I put Erbie down to play with the cars, but he didn’t once mention ‘Grammy’?

I did a quick sweep of the cupboards and found a box of my stuff Belle Mere had been storing in happier times and a pile of pictures. These pictures were The GR’s photographs from an exhibition he had when we lived in France. They once hung in the Belle Mere’s bathroom and now here they were, no longer wanted. I was devastated, no matter how I tried to look at it, it came back to not being good. I hid them away and put the bottle of Johnnie Walker black label I had got The GR as his moving in present on the table. This is from a standing joke from when he had moved his mother previously and they had found a bottle of Johnnie Walker left in a high cupboard. He had joked that it might be his reward for helping move his mum but she had refused and ended up giving it to her brother for doing nothing! Every time we visited The GR would jokingly say: ‘Where’s my bottle of Johhnie Walker?’.

When the removal men and The GR arrived all smiles and isn’t it a lovely flat, I bit my tongue. He saw the bottle on the table and said: ‘Ah perhaps that is a welcoming gesture, a peace offering, things might be looking up, that is a significant reference’. I bit my lip. A hour later he started to tell me the story of moving his mother (I know I was there I thought to myself, …and she obviously bought me that as a…. ‘I bought it for you’, I said almost inaudibly, but my lamb heard me loud and clear.

We heard through the grapevine that the really useless brother and girlfriend had beenflown over to see the Belle Mere’s new house that weekend and they all had a house warming BBQ in the garden. (Down the road!) How nice.

No one can touch us now, it may take a while to unwind but we keep smiling and saying it’s ours, it’s ours. Well, technically it is the banks but lets not pour water on the fireworks eh.

My balcony garden is coming along I now have a herb box of basil, coriander, mint and thyme; two red geraniums and a white cosmos. And I’ve been eyeing a dwarf olive tree on the internet for my birthday at the end of September.

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Broken Collarbone or Clavicle in child


I’m sad, and I’ve broken Erbie.

I have been rushing around like idiot, trying to fit in one last this and one last that before leaving W1. One of last time excursions on my agenda was taking Erbie to Corams Field (on what happened to be an event and therefore very busy day) to play in the sandpit and have a swing. I’d just managed to change him out of wet, sandy clothes and we were on our way to the swings when he ran ahead, towards them completely overexcited. I grabbed at the sandy items and ran after him shouting ‘Stop! Stop!’, which he always has done previously, only this time he didn’t and the father pushing his child on one of the swings didn’t see him. The swing hit Erbie full on and knocked him flying.

I comforted him and he cried a bit longer than is usual but seemed okay, we had a swing and left. He seemed very quiet on the way back and when we got home I sat him in front of the telly and studied him, I noticed his eyes flutter and he shivered. Worried that he may have a head injury I whisked him up, out and into a taxi to Accident & Emergency. The taxi driver didn’t even switch his meter on, bless him. A and E at the UCH on Euston Road is the same as any A and E the length and breadth of this country, ie a couple of bleeding drunks and a full waiting room. A paedriatrician spotted Erbie on the monitor whilst I was signing in and ushered us straight through to the childrens ward. 

Erbie kept touching his shoulder and lay his head against me in silence. He had gone very pale. They checked his head for bumps and were very worried by the size of one until I mentioned it was always there, as my family are predisposed to corners on our craniums. I got asked routine head injury questions, like: ‘Was he knocked out or did he cry right after? Has he vomited?’ He was still very pale and hadn’t eaten anything and as he kept touching his shoulder they suggested an Xray to be sure nothing was wrong.

The Xray was the hardest part, I had to put on a large green insulated apron so that I could help hold him down on the bed. He didn’t like that. We had to lay him on his back, he didn’t like that. A male nurse had to hold down his legs, he didn’t like him. He cried out over and over: ‘No, no, don’t like it, don’t like it.’ He went red in the face and squirmed with all his might. They managed to get one Xray image and didn’t try for the obligatory second one. When I eventually scooped him up his bottom lip quivered and he said: ‘Bye, bye, bye, bye over and over until we had left the Xray room.

After about 5 minutes they came to me and said what Erbie had been trying to tell us all along, he had cracked his clavicle. I saw his Xray showing a fine white line running through his right collarbone. I felt sick, I’d just picked him up using his arms - twice, no wonder he had winced. The reason his little eyes had fluttered and he had been so pale was due to the pain he was encountering. 

They gave me a bag of painkillers for him and we tried to get him in a sling which caused him to wave his arm around more than not wearing one. I’ve since bought some arnica cream and pilules to help the healing process and the bruise come out. I have to watch him like a hawk and try to stop him using his right arm, luckily he is left handed. 

It happened 6 days ago and I haven’t been able to write about it until now. He is much better but still needs help getting up from laying down.

I feel like a very bad mother.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Everything’s coming up rosy


258: Ziggy by Matthew Williamson at Selfridges.
WEM number #106

The Belle Mere is actually starting to behave like a granny, last week she made a trip to Hamleys in the rain and purchased a tipper truck for Erbie. Not only did she purchase a tipper truck but also a cement mixer and a yellow helicopter. Erbie got very excited and drove them around on the carpet all afternoon. He does this thing where he runs on the spot in anticipation whilst the grown up is attempting to get the things out of their packaging. This rather sweet anticipation dance prompted Belle Mere, this week, to present him with a campervan, a lovely mini campervan with a rainbow on the side. She is now camervangrammy. He fell asleep on the bus home from our flat to be, clutching his van and woke up at the door of our W1 home now.
‘We’re home’, I said.

I felt a bit sad and decided to whisk us off to Kensington Gardens for the afternoon, only the traffic on Oxford Street had a different agenda and the hot sticky bus only got as far as Selfridges. And Selfridges are having a sale. I bought some shoes, I had to, they were a real bargain, suddenly I didn’t feel so bad and the shoebox might be useful for packing.

A later bus took us straight to the park and Erbie ran around barefoot in the sand wearing only a cowboy hat and a pair of shorts as I followed in an equally stupid hat, as my roots are long overdue a retouch and my hairdresser is out of town until the end of the month.

Erbie collapsed in my arms on the way home and I slid him straight into bed meaning I got to watch the last BBC2 Springwatch uninterrupted. Small things!

Moving date booked...

I booked a removals company yesterday and am going to start packing up stuff on the 1st July. So we are really buying our flat and moving. In – gulp – 23 days.

I should come up with a list of things I’d really like to do in town before we go. Not that things won’t still be accessible, we’re only going to be a bus ride away, but it won’t be the same as getting up and walking there. I’m strongly considering the Zoo, although the last time I went, as a student, (admittedly several years ago) it made me cry – the tiger looked mad and was pacing back and forth in it’s tiny enclosure and the monkeys were sad and haunted. Plus it is ridiculously expensive, I’m not sounding like it’s a good idea am I!

It’s coming up to 7.30am, Erbie and I have already had a trip to the shop for waffles (this mornings demand for breakfast) and I need to shower and get us dressed before getting the bus up to visit Belle Mere in our flat to be.

I’m not sure what I’ll do when we actually have the deeds signed over, I’m not going to keep up these weekly visits, that is for sure, but then again I can’t cut her off from Erbie altogether, for his sake as much as hers. Once a month is enough for any grandmother surely? Unless of course The GR and the Belle Mere miraculously make up, stranger things happen at sea.

Elephant obsessed?

The GR accused me of having elephant-itis, (see WEM number #104 & #105 below!) I AM a stone heavier than I should be but I haven’t ballooned. No, really, I think I’m using visible elephants to disguise the literal elephants in my everyday life. Whenever I see the Belle Mere, which is roughly once a week, (and later on today) we don’t mention the flat (which we are buying from her) or her son – The GR (who still have not spoken) which is, as someone pointedly said, a bit like not mentioning the elephant in the room.

There are several more unmentionable elephants in my life currently, The GR and I don’t talk about the fact we don’t have sex anymore, or the fact that we have borrowed, begged and stolen from virtually anyone who will comply in order to get a mortgage to buy aforementioned flat.

Zambi - 114: Hasbro, Hamleys Toy Store

Monopoly Community Chest - 113 Hasbro: Hamleys Toy Store

Friday, 11 June 2010

Selfridges too.

I thought it about time Erbie and I revisited Selfridges to find the other 3 elephants having already counted this one in the basement next to the Elephant Parade shop where one can buy mini elephants, I want to get one for Erbie but just can’t decide on which one! If I had the inclination I could bid on one of these big ones too at : givinglots.co.uk

50: Heavens Haathi by Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla

I found The Emerald Queen elephant by Sabine Roemer wearing a 678 carat emerald and sitting in front of the Rolex section on the ground floor. Yours for a reserve price of £90,000.

216: The Emerald Queen. Sponsor: Haulage Heroes, Eco Movers. Location: Selfridges (WEM #100 - yay!)


217: The Spirit of India by Sacha Jafri, Sponsor Disney Theatrical.
(WEM #101)

249: Spooning Sunday by Claire Snell and Tory Bauer.
(WEM #102)
Her back is covered in the tips of vintage souvenir spoon handles from all over the world.

Mason

As I walked by the House of St Barnabas on the corner of Soho Square I thought I spied an elephant through the window. There just happened to be a delivery going at the same time and I jumped on the nice lady holding in the doorway:
‘May I see you elephant?’
He is ‘Mason’ a recycled elephant made from the red rubber off-cuts of Mason hair brushes! My photo is appalling, the flash wouldn't go off, Erbie was wriggling, the nice lady was holding the very heavy door, he (the elephant) was stuck in a corner, but here he is my number #99. They have another one in their garden but it wasn’t a good time...

159 Mason: Artist Lucy Fergus (re-silicone).
Sponsor: Quintessentially.
Location: House of St Barnabus

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Elephant Parade - Herd Viewing Days

Thanks to Amy for bringing to my attention that there will be herd viewing days at the Royal Hospital, Chelsea from 10am till 7pm on 25th, 26th and 28th of this month. Members of the public will be able to see the elephants collectively in the grounds of the usually off-limits Chelsea Royal Hospital.

Here are three more down on the South bank.

(WEM numbering) #96
(121: James Bond): Artist Oliver Lloyd & Lucy Fleming, sponsored by Lucy Fleming.

#97

#98

More elliephants

It rained most of the day yesterday and Erbie and I were already going stir crazy by 7am this morning - another typical english Summer grey day, so we decided to check out the herd of elephants in Green Park.

I took my usual route down through Soho Square and caught this view of Centre Point unobstructed by buildings whilst Crossrail continues to demolish in the area.

Trafalgar Square was setting up for tonights live relay from the Royal Opera House of the ballet Chroma / Tryst / Symphony in C. The pigeons seemed rather abundant considering the hawk pest control vans were there. Perhaps the pigeons are learning that the hawks are just there to scare and not to kill. The fourth plinth is displaying a rather smashing ship in a bottle.

At this hour in the morning the ducks and geese in St James Park were still asleep on the pathway. We tiptoed past the preening pelicans and headed up to Green Park.


The Mall was bedecked with flags and Buck House had a flag flying too meaning queenie must be home. The posters had changed for Summer with a guide on how to tell the different guards apart by a coloured plume on their bearskins.

Grenadier, Coldstream, Scots, Irish and Welsh guards

Then across the road to elephants a plenty in Green Park.

#66

#67

#68

#69

#70

#71

#72

#73


#74

#75


#76

#77

#78


#79

#80

#81

#82

#83

#84

#85

#86

#87

#88

#89

#90

#91

#92

#93

and last but not least #94 & #95 on Piccadilly!

Other nonsense

Quote of the day

‘They tuck you up your mum and dad...’
Anon - after Larkin

“Philately will get you everywhere”
WEM

“It’s not the despair, I can handle the despair. 
It’s the hope I can’t deal with”
Clockwise

“Each new friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
Anais Nin

‘Come on Dover move your bloomin’ arse’.
Eliza Doolittle