Alexa Is Listening

Whilst briefly away from home the other day, it occurred to me that the lengthy pains I’d been taking to keep Erbie’s upcoming birthday presents secret, were instantly nullified by the fact that Alexa had been gleefully announcing their imminent arrival.

Technology in the modern house has pitfalls and bonuses. For example Erbie, myself and TheGR all get to watch whatsoever we choose with no hurumphing or demands for the remote. The television has become the old school domain of TheGR, Erbie has a computer and Playstation in his room and I have a laptop.

This is, until the Sky television stopped receiving a satellite signal two weeks ago, causing TheGR to rage and fret for 24hrs, all to no avail as the call centre is obviously still in a country with a monsoon climate, although needless to say this could be Durham in a couple of years, the only offer was for a technician call out in 2 weeks time.

We now haven’t seen the news for 16 days, which is refreshing and probably in its own way a rebellion against the current government. TheGR is happily rewatching DVDs of Seinfeld. Erbie has just binge watched the entire new Star Wars - Mandolorian series on Disney+ and I have actually got over halfway through reading Donna Tart's, The Goldfinch - which I had previously started 3 times, never getting further than the first chapter. 

Alexa, is now, or was once, an integral part of family life, why check your phone for the time when you can ask Alexa. Why press buttons when you can ask Alexa to put on a timer, why worry your partner to remind you to do something, when you can program Alexa to. 

Alexa open Spotify, Alexa play murder mystery, Alexa how do you spell...? 

The only thing Alexa isn’t so good for anymore is announcements: ‘time to get to school’; ‘time to do your homework’, time to have a life.  Life is now on hold, crystallised in Covid, no school, no work, nowhere to go, humid days and nights of August holidays, with the strange sensation of skiving, yet actually having nothing, yet lots to get on with. A limbo lobotomy. The whole country slipping into economic destitution. 

My supermarket checkout lady tells me her grown son cried the other day, forced to take a lower wage to keep his job at a travel agency, he is suffering anxiety, struggling to buy food, a new father, his take home pay is £1500 a month, his rent £1300. 

The local pub can now only open from 4pm, the manager cannot afford staff for two shifts in one day. Four excellent bar-persons run around after about 6 customers, they have no time to stop and chat or take a break.

Alexa can you save the country? I’m sorry I don’t know that one.