Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Don't Come Home

I'm sitting in a cafe.

It's school picking up time.

Usually I'd be picking up Erbie and taking him to swimming later, but Huston has told me not to collect him today, not to come home tonight or come back to the flat until 2.30pm tomorrow. When this has happened before I've begged, gone running, cajoled, apologised, cried. Today I decided I'd had enough of being bullied, so I have not gone to collect Erbie. I have asked the mum's to look out for him, but no news so far so all must be well.

I popped in to see Erbie at lunchtime under the pretence that I was taking him a coat and said he would be having a boys night and I'd see him tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning I have my first Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) appointment...

Saturday, 4 June 2016

Work in Progress

John Huston
Do I know myself?

This is a question I asked myself as I walked down the hill this morning.

Danny Huston

Angelica Huston as Morticia in
The Addams Family

Jack Huston in Broadwalk Empire

I have decided to rename TheGR as he is no-longer The Guardian Reader, hasn’t read it for over a year in fact if not longer. I shall rename him Huston, 
a) because he is a huge fan of the Huston clan from grandfather Walter to  father John, son Danny, Angelica and nephew Jack all of the Hollywood acting, writing, directing dynasty 
b) as in        …we have a problem.

Which in turn means I have a problem as I still love him. I’m beginning to realise I am not to blame for everything, that it may not all be me, that his happiness is not dependent on me or mine on him.

Growth. It’s going to be ouchy.

Walter Huston in Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Other nonsense

Quote of the day

‘They tuck you up your mum and dad...’
Anon - after Larkin

“Philately will get you everywhere”

“It’s not the despair, I can handle the despair. 
It’s the hope I can’t deal with”

“Each new friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
Anais Nin

‘Come on Dover move your bloomin’ arse’.
Eliza Doolittle