Lilac - Syringa vulgaris © GAP Photos. How could anyone feel mauve with the scent of lilac in the air. |
It would seem I have been feeling a ‘little lilac’ for about 3 years now. It’s not the ‘mean reds’ or the ‘blues’ or even a ‘deep purple’ just a hazy mauve.
Since we have moved here from the West End things have gone from bad to well just about the same really!
Yes, we managed to get a mortgage to purchase this flat from the Belle Mere and yes we managed to get Erbie into the school we were happy for him to go to, but boy a lot of other stuff has happened, mainly involving The GR’s family - yet again.
Having decided to wipe the slate clean and start afresh with no family interference quite the opposite has happened. The grandfather split with his second wife and moved back to the UK. The prodigal brother got the big C and moved back in with the Belle Mere. Everything looked as if it was about to implode but it hasn’t. It has just continued. A visa, a wedding, a birth, a Christmas, a birthday or seven, all have been and gone and are coming round again (well not the birth, he’s going to be one - the prodigal son is the father). All with an underscore of very noisy and intrusive daily building works going on next door. Of course it is sod’s law, that as soon as we get our own place, somewhere we really need to relax and escape it would be destroyed at such close quarters.
I’ve been seriously questioning our luck attraction, and finding it hard to stay positive when there seems to be so much negativity around. I found myself saying:
‘I wish I wasn’t so tired and ill all the time’ the other day instead of:
‘I wish I was healthy and full of energy’.
I’ve just reread my old post about the clinical trial I did and how well I was, I remember vaguely feeling well, slim, fit and happy - ha! I haven’t exercised in 3 years and it shows, on the scales and in my clothes. My posture is appalling and my skin is constantly spotty, (ironically the mums at the school gates keep asking me if we’ll be having a second child, not because I’m fat, because of the outbreaks, I must look young enough to conceive|) double ha!
I know that positive thinking really works, it got me a garden. It’s just hard sometimes to focus when its the end of June and my feet are freezing cold and I’m feeling a bit, um well, mauve.
Anyway moan over, it helps to get stuff off my chest once in a while and it has been a while.
Now I shall go and make a cake. On second thoughts perhaps I’ll go and drink a bottle of water and do some exercise. Ha ha ha.
1 comment:
Life is such a consistently wretched bastard sometimes, isn't it? I'm so sorry. I wish it will get better soon.
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